Education Guide

I talked with a psychologist and psychoanalyst Rubens Maciel about the difference between functions and roles played by fathers and mothers for the proper development of the child. Not always, the maternal and paternal functions are performed by men and women who created or adopted children. These functions may be undertaken by others, making the role of father or mother.

Unfortunately, in my opinion, playing the mother has plenty of both. Some parents also, but it’s hard, you know any?

In the view of Rubens Maciel, there are no defined roles and functions for men and women, although there is a predominance of certain characteristics in each. “A healthy person is a person very rich and sensitive to perform the various functions,” he says.

It defines the roles of father and mother and those related to social and legal expectations regarding fatherhood. In his opinion, leaving the woman to the labor market brought the children closer to parents who were invited to participate in the care of offspring. But this is not the only explanation for the new tasks assumed by men.

The analyst believes that the dissemination of information on the importance of the role of the father, for good child development, is contributing to a new family organization, where men take on other roles and looking good to play the father role.

“This kind of information will causing some parents to become aware of it, and love for his son, wishing to have a differentiated participation. The affection is something that has been revered in recent years. You want to have a more harmonious family. But there is also the counterpoint, individualism, each will make his career. Are concomitant phenomena, sometimes opposing, but happen “he said.

Rubens Maciel said the father’s role begins in the first year, during which the baby is very mixed with mother. “When he feels that the mother is not fully available to her, there is a limit, even without knowing the existence of the father, she senses that there is something that not only she, the mother shares with some other thing it does not know what it is, “he said.

According to the psychoanalyst, this is an important function of the father, to show that the child is not the center of the universe, signals that a limit will occur early. “A threshold for what? The child’s desire to have control over the mother, being the main reference of the mother. I’m insatiable, and she’ll spend hours and hours giving me love, give me suck “, translated.

Rubens Maciel said that this prototype child persists throughout life. The difference is that in some people maturely presents itself, in others less so. “If you take an extremely jealous person, you will see that these infantile wishes are still in force, remain, in adulthood, too much,” he said.

The paternal function of setting limits is crucial for the necessary separation between mother and baby. In the process of maturation, the child understands that the mother is another person who has interests, needs and tasks that go beyond. If the father is near, the child realizes that he is present and plays a role here.

According to the psychoanalyst, the father role is to show the child that she can not be supplied by another human being throughout life. “She’ll have to fend for itself, will be alone. She who replace the chest with the finger, the pacifier, then over a toy, then for a friend then a girlfriend. Trade in your downtime at work. She will have to be productive to have a man or a woman, a companion. Then she will move from this position of dependence, passive, if it can mature. Going out for an active role, someone who will do these things in a proper manner, “he said.

For Rubens Maciel, a clear attitude of the father who sets the limits necessary for the child is put you to sleep in his own crib. It teaches that the bed of my mom and dad has no place for him

“This is the role of a parent or a third party. Not to be a father, a mature mother can fulfill the role of the father. And say, look, my son, Mom is watching TV, I take a shower, you stand there, “he said.