Education Guide

Never thought I’d write about it, but the identification with the text published by the Agency USP – Mothers of stillborn children suffer from trauma and bereavement social – Made me remember and decide to share this experience.

Losing an embryo is different from nine weeks to get delivery of a dead baby. The doctor said to me after a miscarriage, the pain seems proportional to the time of pregnancy. The earlier the loss, the smaller it is, because the transformation of the mother’s body and bond with the child gain meaning over time.

But the stages of pain, described the matter, are very similar. Many women of any age, go for it. Much more than we imagine to live up to the loss of a pregnancy interrupted early on. When this happens, people seem to enjoy an event to count, I also lost my mother lost two before me …

I became pregnant at age 42 in the first cycle after taking the IUD. At the first opportunity, I discovered that those were other times since the last pregnancy, when urine tests, with 15 days of delay in menstruation, gave positive or negative. Often, false results on pregnancy as the Nara when I cried a lot with paper in hand with negative results. The examination has not pointed, but my little girl is there, it was positive!

20 years later, a blood test a few days late, showed the table already with the calculation of weeks of gestation. I was very pregnant! Incredibly, a process that had started, the doctor said, would require patience, since it could take more than a year.

It all happened so fast, that the pregnancy test was done before the result of sperm, which had asked the gynecologist to clear away any reason for Claudio, and focus on possible problems related to my age.

But the more intense relationship with the dream of being a mother again started in ultrassonofrafia. He remembered the thrill of hearing the little heart of my daughters in obsolete equipment at the time. For me, I had never done that exam, ultrasound was a real tete-a-tete with the baby.

Detect the heartbeat remained the password for the existence of life. And my baby’s heart beat! Embryo, for doctors, for me, my baby, my third son! And the news of the success of the enterprise spread rapidly.

The joy and euphoria lasted until a new test in which the doctor found neither the gestational sac in my womb. Stunned, hugging, crying, Claudio I could not understand how the baby was gone. Irritated by the insistence that the doctor would have been eliminated in any bleeding, the most advanced Claudio on her neck to insist: “There was no bleeding.”

And a mixture of doubt and hope, despite the grief that had gripped us all, stayed until a re-examination at another laboratory, the embryo was there, but lifeless. The heart does not beat anymore.

Expect the expulsion, as recommended by the doctor (more appropriate than a curettage, which puts the mother at risk and may hinder a new design), was not only worse than the time of spontaneous abortion (abortion is not technically, but it is so that everyone understands).

Cramping late in arriving, but they came strong, the pain increased rapidly. I recognized the contractions to expel and I became dizzy. When I felt the passage of the embryo, in despair. I feel larger than it actually was. Do not know if I wanted to see, but wanted to see, needed to see. Describes exactly how the matter that gave rise to this statement.

A cry came from the bowels actually, it was impossible to control. I looked at the pad without wanting to see any detail, but with a look of affection, respect, and sympathy. For a woman, not a ball of blood, is a son who is there, between his legs, lifeless.

And come to mourn and come to make a public suffering, trying to explain a loss so intimate, so private. Early pregnancy, no belly to confirm, many people said, “Hey, how’s the baby?” “Thelminha, I hear you’re pregnant!” No, I’m not.

Grief over here. After four months apart for the body to recover, we began this process that required patience on which the doctor had said when we decided to have a child (my third, the first of Claudio).

I tried another gynecologist specializing in high-risk pregnancy, but it has happened again, naturally. Do not take us long to speak, playfully and with great hope, the Near! And next came the following year, it’s Gabriel!a